Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
