i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
