Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
