everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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