I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
