I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
