Just cropdusted the office
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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