If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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