Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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