My first STD was from a foam party
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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