I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
