guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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