I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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