I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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