No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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