laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
