I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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