Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's get the cat blown out
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
