This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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