I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
