For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
