She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
