She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
