these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
