you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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