I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
