Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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