oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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