I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
