If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
