I must be too annoying 4 u.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize