I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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