I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
