So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
