How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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