She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
