Those balls look pretty dangerous.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
