If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
