So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
