You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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