Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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