question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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