I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
