this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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