Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
