You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize