i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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