just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
