Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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