You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
