he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
