Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
