Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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