you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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