My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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