Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
