Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Shame - the story of my life.
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