When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize